Thank you, Mr. President

Thank you card

Are you there, Donald? It’s me, Ryan.

I know things haven’t been great between us lately. I’ve said things, you’ve said things… really, I think it’s time we put all that behind us. Like you said in your recent interview with the New York Times, you just want to move forward.

Let’s try that.

So, in the spirit of moving forward, and with Thanksgiving coming up, I have to admit that I’m thankful for you. No, really! Let me lay it out for you.

Thank you, Mr. President.

  • Thank you for inciting countless protests all across the country, showing me the thousands of people on the right side of history. We will be remembered, and it’s all because of you.
  • Thank you for inspiring so many wonderful comedians, especially the writers and performers of SNL, and giving us so much material to work with. This election season has inspired some of the best SNL episodes since 2008, and it’s all on you!
  • Thank you for your comments on women, immigrants, Muslims, and other various minorities. You’ve awoken the beast in a lot of us due to the things you’ve said, and given us something to fight for and also against.
  • Thank you for your Twitter account. It’s another source for some great comedy, and further proof that you are a giant narcissistic child in a grown man’s body. We might not have known without it!
  • Thank you for being an inspiration to the KKK and other Neo-Nazi movements arising in this country. You’ve made them the center of the public’s attention, and in turn shown us a great example of the man you are.
  • And finally, thank you for lighting a fire under my ass. You’ve given me so much inspiration to create, teach, and make my voice heard. If it weren’t for you (and the 1st amendment) I probably wouldn’t be writing this right now.

So, there you have it Mr. Trump. I am thankful for you this Thanksgiving. I know you probably won’t see this, but I just thought it would be a kind gesture for me to put it out into the world anyway.




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